![]() ![]() Unfortunately, all of that showed, in my words, responses, my facial expressions and body language. I had continually felt misunderstood and devalued by this individual, and this time was no different. ![]() I began to get defensive and upset internally, and then the emotions starting flowing. ![]() He pushed back in what I felt was a disrespectful way. I remember a painful time in my corporate life when I was presenting some big marketing plans for a product I was responsible for, to a group of senior leaders, and the President didn’t like what I was recommending. Stop being "sorry” for living, and uttering an apology when one is not called for. Choose another word or phrase that more accurately describes how you feel. Tip: In the next week, watch yourself every single time you say “Sorry.” Catch it in midstream, and stop when an apology is not in order. There are far better, stronger, more appropriate and empowered words to use for these experiences, such as “Pardon me,” or “Excuse me,” or even “Thanks for letting me reach over you.” The question is: Are you really sorry for these events or situation? No, you’re not (or shouldn’t be). They’ll say “sorry” scores of times each and every day for all sorts of reasons like bumping into someone with their cart in the grocery store, or needing to borrow a chair from someone’s table, or reaching over someone to grab the salt. In my career courses, we talk about how so many women say “I’m sorry” when an apology is not necessary or warranted, and when they're not sorry. Here's my take on how snarkiness hurts your success and relationships, via my Facebook Live "Brave Up Tuesday" series:īelow are 4 other communication flaws I see regularly that crush success, empowerment and fulfillment: I’m guessing you’ll be able to remember just when it started in your life, and perhaps see how it was a coping mechanism for your feeling hurt, betrayed and abandoned by others. When did you first start being snarky to people and why? What you get out of it – what is the core reason you keep putting others down in a demeaning way? Then consider what you’re losing by engaging in it. ![]() Tip: If you find you’re addicted to snarkiness, it’s helpful to think about how old that behavior is. The more evolved behavior to engage in – that requires strength, self-awareness, self-esteem, and courage - is to be kind, patient, compassionate, and gentle, to be a teacher and an uplifter of spirits, rather than one who tears others down. When you can do that on a regular basis, then you’re really doing something special and important. Truthfully, it’s easy to be snarky. Just spend 30 minutes on the internet and you can see that we humans have that behavior down to a science. Your snarkiness and sarcasm reveal a great deal more about you and how you see yourself and the world than you realize, and none of it is positive. I’ve found that it’s often because they have ego and self-esteem challenges, and are addicted to putting others down so they can feel better about themselves. Sadly, this type of snarky, cruel behavior is like a bottomless pit – it’s dark, cold, sad and lonely, and leaves you feeling even more isolated and disconnected after you utter your cruel words than before. But in the long run, it destroys relationships, crushes opportunities and closes pathways to greater happiness, success and fulfillment. It might be enjoyable for some (in a sadistic way) to be snarky to others, and some individuals find it helps them relieve their anxiety and insecurity for a split second. The most common communication flaw I see every day, a hundred times a day, is what I call ‘snarkiness’ – being mean, harsh, demeaning, disrespectful, and slapping someone down with disdain and sarcasm. What’s become abundantly clear is that there are several common, damaging communication patterns that contribute to or exacerbate our life and work challenges, but most often, people are not at all aware of them. Part of Kathy Caprino's series " Living and Working Better "Īs a coach working with folks to improve their lives and careers, I hear from hundreds of people a month who are dealing with a wide variety of personal and professional problems. ![]()
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